[Russia Today] Cloaks, daggers and Typewriters in NATO!

We are receiving reports from people close to the NATO leadership that the USA is threatening to withdraw from the alliance. UNSC has been proposed to oversee the rest of alliance in order to confront the rouge hegemon drunk on power! Canada and France are tussling over control sidelining their supposed Turkish allies. The two nations are assuming control of the alliance and have sourced an easy solution to eliminate cyber vulnerabilities! Going analogue. From this point fowrad they are moving back to typewrites and telegrams(and not even our sophisticated Telegram app). We have attempted to reach out for comment but the reply is taking too long. - Mike Litorous